The Wedding

Good Morning!

I hope that this morning finds you happy, healthy, and in the celebrating spirit, because... it's Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there! (And a special little shout-out to my own mom and grandmas, with whom I wish I could be today!)

Well I think this week officially wins for the longest week ever here in the Indo. It just draaaaagged by, and it seemed that it would never come to an end. But alas it did, as all weeks do, and here I am on Sunday afternoon, hanging out in the spare room with Laura, typing this post to you, my dear friends and family. (I think that sentence holds the most commas I've ever used in a single sentence. And I even omitted 2!) I think that a contributing factor to this seemingly endless week was that I went in to TK on Monday, rather than embark on my weekly adventure to Salatiga. I'm doing the same tomorrow (one of the teachers is absent), but the school week is only three days next week, and then there's a holiday from Thursday to Sunday. I'm making up for two missed Mondays in Salatiga by spending next weekend at Pak Lilik and Ibu Christin's place, learning to cook some delicious foods, and just hanging out with my little "brothers." I miss those little guys!

This week also felt extremely busy, much more so than usual. There was my normal schedule, of course, consisting of TK, radio, and PPA. On Wednesday night however, I was invited to the 13th birthday party of the daughter of a friend of Pak Har's, who is also an active member in my church here. In all honesty, it took me until Wednesday morning to decide if I was going, and I had to remind myself of the commitment I made at the beginning of the year to say "yes" to every opportunity that presents itself (a commitment that I have at times kicked myself for making, as it has landed me in some less-than-exciting situations. The fishing birthday for one, or the seminar on cervical cancer in Bahasa Indonesia, for another). I was finally told that I was going, and with a mix of relief that the decision had been made, and resentment that the power to choose was ripped from my hands, I headed off to the party at 5PM on Wednesday night. The party turned out to be a dinner for the girl, at a local Chinese restaurant. 43 guests turned out for the event, including teachers, friends, and some family. There was a huge meal, and the birthday girl walked out with 4 grocery bags and one (costo-sized) garbage bag full of gifts. The mom had invited me to sleep over that night, but I turned down that part of the invitation, as TK started early the next morning.

On Friday night, I attended a pre-wedding dinner for Ibu Vonny's cousin, at another local restaurant. The invitations to the wedding, which was yesterday (Saturday) were presented in a wooden box, and carved out of the box itself. When I saw those, I knew that it wouldn't be an ordinary wedding. The dinner on Friday night was also a hint of what was to come, with seven courses being presented at the dinner. Ibu Vonny's extended family were super warm and welcoming, and the ones I talked to seemed to love me (more in the "what a cute little child" way, but I'll take what I can get). I acquired a new "Oma", who laughed and echoed whatever I said in Bahasa Indonesia, and invited me to sleep over at her place sometime soon. (I'm really banking up the sleepover invites!) My host family seemed extra proud of me, telling everyone how I loved Indonesian foods, how I could really handle spice well, and how I am already fluent in the language (the three most important things to people here ;) ). It was certainly an ego-boosting event, and I enjoyed it much more than I expected to.

On Saturday, I had a free late morning and early afternoon, which I used to indulge in some pleasure reading (Harry Potter!), and then in the evening was the wedding. We arrived just shortly before six, and as I got out of the van, I noticed the "Congratulations" signs, and knew right away that all of my suspicions about the quality of this wedding were about to be confirmed. "Congratulations" signs are my way of explaining this massive (MASSIVE) signs from businesses or companies that know the couple and want to wish them well. Some weddings have none, some have 5 or 10. This one must have had about 70. We stepped inside the entrance to the hall, and my host family passed their envelope to the attendants (money is nearly always the means of gift-giving here), which they inserted into one of the seven boxes lined up. These were no ordinary boxes though. The boxes were at the base of fish tanks, and the money was shoved through a tube in the centre of these fish tanks, into the box below. That out of the way, we headed into the auditorium, stopping to take some pictures with the giant fake flower-covered peacocks in the front entrance. We walked under fake ivy with hundreds of lit lanterns, and then into the absolutely enormous auditorium. Seriously, it was so big that the rooms off the sides had big screen TVs in them so that they could see the events of the wedding from their seats. The entire hall was decked out in drapery and flowers and hanging paper flowers and peacocks. There was seating for nearly 2000 people, and it was filled. There was a raised catwalk lighted by six candelabras, leading to the main stage. The main stage was nearly concert-sized, which seemed necessary, because the sweeping staircase up to the mammoth fake cake (perched in a little gazebo about 15 feet off the ground) would have looked a bit squished on a smaller stage. Weddings here are typically filled with "entertainment" (most often a terrible MC and a guy with an electric keyboard) from beginning to end, and this was no exception. However, the electric keyboard was replaced by a white baby grand piano, and the couple had added violins, percussion, and woodwinds to round it out. The MCs were just as typical as always, but the entertainment, which included Indonesian Idol runner-up (flown in from Jakarta), was a bit atypical, to say the least. The eight course meal (also traditional of Chinese weddings) was catered by one of the most upscale restaurants in Semarang, and included shark's fin soup (animal lovers, please don't judge me- it was served right to me, and one really cannot get out of eating things here. Trust me!), steak, and roasted duck. The waiters did a little show with the appetizers prior to beginning the meal. Other features of the wedding include two bubble machines, a fog machine, and eight of those giant sparkler things that go off at big concerts, spewing pretty fire. I could go on and on about little details here and there, but I will conclude the wedding description just by stating that it was by FAR the most over-the-top wedding I have ever seen, and it was a truly memorable experience.

While I have not outright said it, I don't think it's all that difficult, through reading my blog, to pick up on the lifestyle that I have found myself living here in Indonesia. The topics of affluence and status and their roles in my life here are ones that I have wanted to broach since my fifth day in this country, when I got my first glimpse into what my life outside of Salatiga would look like.This year in Indonesia has certainly taken a different path than I was envisioning, and has landed me in circumstances that I never could have anticipated when I signed up to do this experience. I have, many times, attempted a blog post on it, but have either erased the content or left it unposted, as the final products have not accurately explained what I have wanted to say. I still am unable to describe things or answer the questions that run through my mind, and rather than attempting that here, where my words could cause unintended offense or confusion, I've decided that this area is one that can be better unpacked and examined once I am removed from it, and can reflect upon it. There is a lot I'd like to say about this topic, but I feel like my blog is not the appropriate place to do so. Anyways, I just wanted to add this in here as a small explanation for anyone who has followed my blogs and been confused about the content and how it can be reconciled with with the goals and values of SALT, and as an acknowledgement that, while I am nothing but grateful to my host parents and to my host community for all they do for me, I too am filled with conflicting emotions and a lot of confusion surrounding particular elements of my lifestyle here.

With that, I leave you to enjoy what I hope is an absolutely beautiful day!

Once again, Happy Mother's Day!
Love,
Ellery