The Last Night in Indonesia

My Dear Family and Friends,

After over 11 months outside of Canada, and almost exactly 11 months in Indonesia, I am spending my last night in the place that, just one year ago, I knew almost nothing about. One year ago, I had no idea who I would be meeting in Indonesia, what I would be doing, where I would be living... I didn't know the language or the culture. I didn't know the challenges I would face, nor did I know what incredible experiences I would encounter. And now here I sit on my last night in this formerly strange and unknown land, with my suitcases packed up once again, and my emotions just as mixed up as they were in the days leading up to my departure for Indonesia. I went back to the blog post that I wrote on my last night at orientation last August (August 17th, in fact, exactly 11 months ago today), and was struck by the words I found:
  
I'm anticipating tomorrow with a mix of excitement, apprehension, and pure dread! I've heard- and told myself- over and over that "it will be great, you'll have so much fun, you're living your dream..." All of that will be true at times, but what has resonated most with me is the words of my mother (it's always the words of a mother, right?): "This is a choice you're making. The alternative is to not go, and you'll regret that for the rest of your life." Now THAT is always true, and I've had to think of that several times over the past week in my moments of panic about the year ahead (but don't worry mom, I AM excited!). I've been told over and over this week that we're going to hit all-time lows (the part I am most nervous for), that it's going to be really hard, and that it's going to be completely worth it. I know that that's true too.

It may sound strange and maybe even a bit unbelievable to hear that I am anticipating tomorrow (and the days that follow) with almost exactly the same emotions. There's a lot of excitement, no doubt, and the list of things that I am excited about is practically endless- seeing my family and friends and boyfriend, eating my favourite foods, being back in my own bed in my own room, starting school and living in Waterloo again, conversing easily with people again, hot showers, going on bike rides... it is all SO exciting! That excitement is mixed with apprehension; a year is a long time, and things have changed at home. Some of those changes are ones I'm aware of, and I've no doubt that there are others I will discover when I get there. Friends have gotten engaged, have gotten married, have graduated, have moved on to full-time jobs or higher education at different schools. My sister moved from high school to university, and completed her whole first year at Waterloo in the time I've been away. For me, life at home froze almost completely, but for everyone else, it carried on as it always does. I think that the weird time warp feeling is often a challenge faced by those who spend time overseas, and I now have even more respect for long term service workers who dedicate much more than just 11 months of their lives to service, and must feel even more out-of-the-loop than I will when they return to wherever their home base is. My ongoing prayer is that I will be able to recognize changes at home as something positive and that I can rest in the assurance that everything works out just as it is intended to. I'm also praying for... wait for it... patience! Patience with myself and with others as the experiences and discoveries of this year are integrated into my life at home and as I come to terms with the fact that my life at home will be different than it was when I left, because I truly believe the words that I wrote last year- that this year abroad was completely worth it. It was hard, and oh man, did I ever hit all-time lows, but I am so SO glad that I did this year in Indonesia, and I believe that it has been, and will continue to be, completely worth the lows that I hit while I was here, and the challenges that we've all been told we'll face in our first weeks and months back home. I am glad to be on this side of the apprehension though, and to be going home to a community full of people who have done overseas work and even SALT specifically, and who are willing to be sources of support. I also have the incredible advantage of having had my parents and sister, and Andrew come to visit, so they have an idea of what I'm talking about. I think that will be really helpful! Overall, right now I am feeling SO incredibly blessed to have had the opportunity for this experience, and I'm really grateful for all the lessons that it has taught me already (painful as some of them were), and for what it will continue to teach me!

I had my exit interview with MCC yesterday, which consists primarily of the Exchange Program Coordinators reading through a review that they wrote of me as a service worker this year, and provides an opportunity to offer feedback on all things assignment-related, as well as a chance to tie up any loose ends that need tying up. While it is a united body in its beliefs and values, I've learned that MCC looks quite different in every country that it serves, for a variety of reasons. Not all countries have a position specifically for Exchange Program Coordinators, for example, and that factor alone would shape the experience of SALTers and YAMENers very differently than our year here in Indonesia. We also had the advantage of serving beneath in-country representatives who have been in the country for over a decade, and who have an incredible wealth of knowledge about situations and circumstances in Indonesia. Before coming here, I took it for granted that MCC was just one big collective body, and didn't consider that the context in which MCC is serving would impact how MCC functions within different parts of the world. I'm really excited to get back to Akron and hear about MCC in other contexts of the world!

In addition to my exit interview yesterday, I seized the opportunity to have one last cream bath (those incredibly indulgent head/shoulder massages that do not exist in North America), and we followed that up with a final lunch at Cosmo, one of our tried and true little places. We had just a few hours between lunch and dinner, when Jason, Mike, Laura, and I met up with my host sister Valen and her friend for dinner. We tried pork fried noodles and rice, which was quite delicious. For "dessert", we headed to a warung that sells ronde (pronounced "ron-day"), a hot ginger beverage with roasted peanuts, jellies, and sesame balls. I cannot say I particularly liked it (I did finish the cup, so I gave it a fair shot), but it's a traditional drink in Salatiga, so I'm glad that I tried it.

Today was a free day, and since the power was out from about 9:30 onwards, I used the morning to get all of my suitcases organized, packed, weighed, re-organized, re-packed, and re-weighed. For lunch, a bunch of us met up and went to "Depot Trio", a row of warungs with a variety of culinary options. I went for gado-gado today, as it is one of those foods that I certainly won't get to eat at home unless I make it myself. Gado-gado is a mix of a variety of vegetables- in this case, tomatoes, potatoes, cabbage, and lettuce-, as well as lontong (rice steamed in a banana leaf), hard boiled egg (yes Austin, I ate that!), and tofu. It is all covered in a slightly spicy peanut sauce and then topped with crispy cracker-ish type things (called kerupuk), and it is SO delicious! I also got a fresh strawberry juice. The fresh fruit juices found on Java are absolutely incredible. SO fresh and delicious!! The afternoon was more packing and playing with Dan and Jeanne's dogs, and then we had dinner with Karen and Major and Sushant and Priti at a fried chicken restaurant. On the way home, we learned about a little craft show/fair type thing going on, so we went to that and wandered around. It was really cool! There was a stage set up for a Wayang performance (traditional Javanese puppet shows), so we saw all of the puppets, which was awesome! I got some singkong keju (cheese-y cassava), which was strangely tasty, and we looked at the art and the batik stalls that were set up there. It was a really awesome way to spend our last evening here!

The plan for tomorrow is to bring all the stuff to MCC that we are not bringing home with us, and then I want to visit Pak Lilik and Ibu Christin and the boys one last time before I leave. We're planning on having one last Indonesian meal for lunch (soto, a type of soup), and then we head out around 2:00PM from Salatiga. Our flight departs from Semarang at 5:30PM tomorrow night, and we fly out of Jakarta late at night. We are supposed to be arriving in Washington, DC on Thursday the 19th around 3:20PM, and then we head back to Akron for a few days of re-orientation. This means that if all goes according to plan, my next post will be back in North America! It feels entirely surreal right now!!

Thinking of all of the YAMENers, SALTers, and IVEPers, who are traveling in these next few days, and praying for safe and happy travels!

See you on the other side!!
Lots and lots of love,
Ellery