Here it is!

Hey Everyone!

Maaf lagi- sorry again- for anyone who has been checking for an update from Indonesia, and has not seen one in over a week! It's here now- though lacking in pictures, as the internet isn't the fastest, and I still haven't figured out how to shrink the files. (Sorry Andrew, I know you explained it to me- my computer comprehension skills are pitiful). I'm very sorry!

The lag in posts hasn't been so much because of lack of time as lack of words. I find it much easier to post when everything is on an upswing, which was the case for the six weeks we spent in Salatiga; each day was better than the one before it (for the most part), as we gained independence, got to know people and places, and grew closer as a group. My motivation to write usually coincides with my level of enthusiasm and positive mentality, both of which have taken a bit of a hit. (My journal has also suffered, and many days have gone by undocumented). It was inevitable that the dip in excitement would hit at some point, and I keep thinking back to a "mood graph" that MCC showed us at orientation. The line on the graph spikes a few weeks in, before taking a turn in the opposite direction, slowly and steadily, until it hits its ultimate low about 4 months in (around Christmas time). While I don't fit the mold exactly, I now understand why the graph is the way it is. YALT looks different in every country around the world; in-country orientations run differently, the number of placements in each country vary, and the proximity to others varies. In the case of Indonesia, there are eight people (I think that's the most of any country), a really long orientation, and widespread placements. The dynamics of this year's crew happened to mesh incredibly well, making our group closer than others in the past. Having had six weeks together, we really had the opportunity to cultivate relationships so tight that we almost felt like a family. This made saying good-bye to the crew last Friday quite a bit more difficult than if the group dynamics hadn't been so positive, or if we hadn't had as much time together to build the support network that we did.

For myself, these factors have made for an even more difficult transition into my new community than is typical. My "family" has scattered throughout central Java, and onto other islands, and I miss them immensely. We are also all back at square one in learning our way around, in gaining independence, and in discerning our place within another new family. I have, in all honesty, been more than a little overwhelmed by the sheer volume of new experiences, and doing it alone- without any familiar faces or even people who can understand me- adds to the challenge. I am still trying to understand exactly what my role is in this community, and the multitude of unknowns is, for me, extremely stressful.

On the upside, I am learning a LOT about myself. As I have mentioned before, I am just not a patient person. I want my questions answered now, I want my independence now, I want to be able to speak the language fluently now, I want to know everyone's names now, I want good friends now, I want to be understood now, and I want to understand this city now. My logical brain (and the logical people in my life) tells me that this doesn't all come in a week- that I need to give it time (and also effort- this stuff doesn't happen without working at it), but this doesn't stop the surges of frustration and complete helplessness that I have often felt in the last week. I am also realizing that the "open-minded, easy-going" person that I thought I was is actually non-existent (some of you may be thinking, "really, she thought that?" I really did!) In place of that, I'm realizing that I have even more of a spiteful and stubborn nature than I realized (qualities that did bode me well on Merbabu, but rarely have any positive outcomes otherwise) and that my open-mindedness has many stipulations, which sort of negates the whole "open-minded" definition. I'm open to do the things I want to do when I want to do them, to eat what I want when I want to eat it, to try new things when I want to try them. I'm open to cultural differences and beliefs from a distance, but now that I'm living it, I find myself fighting it. That's not very open-minded at all. I am required to lose my stubbornness, to become flexible and patient, and to truly be open-minded, in order for this year to be successful. It is also so important to maintain a positive attitude, and to see the good in every situation. It's easy to say, but man, is it ever difficult to do.

Despite the challenges, a lot of awesome things have happened this week. My host family has welcomed me back wholeheartedly, and are eager to make me feel comfortable and safe. I have had a week in my "official" SALT position (I use quotations because Jeanne corrected me, saying that we've been in our official positions since the day we started two months ago. I agree, but this has been the week that I have been curious about as we were finally doing the activities that were assigned to us and handed to us on paper way back in February). My schedule looks a bit different than the position I was expecting to fulfill, but luckily that is something that I truly have been able to be open-minded about, and I am even more excited about what my new schedule looks like. (I am also not getting my heart completely set on it, as situations are always subject to change here). Here it is (I'll explain it after):

Mondays:
7-1= TK
3-5= Compassion

Tuesdays:
7-1= TK
6:30-8:30= Share N Care, or Music

Wednesdays:
7-1= TK
3-5= Compassion

Thursdays
7-1= TK
1-3= IchthusFM
3:30-6= Compassion

Fridays:
7-1= TK
3:30-6= Compassion

Saturdays:
7-11= TK
4-6= Youth visitation
6-8= youth worship

Sundays:
8-10= Sunday School (teaching)
11-1= youth
late afternoon= church (service)

TK is the kindergarten that is run out of the church. There are 3 classes; TK A1, TK A2 (both the equivalent of Junior Kindergarten), and TK B (like Senior Kindergarten). There is also a playgroup for really little ones, but I am not sure what my role in that will be- they are quite terrified of me right now, and some of them started to cry last time, so my involvement may be minimal. Compassion is part of the Compassion International program, that helps kids from lower income brackets, through education and provision of meals. This program runs very similar to TK, with classes being held in the same location and for the same age bracket (though Compassion works with people up to age 22- I've just been involved with the little ones so far). Ichthus FM is my radio show (in English!), and the rest of it is Church-related. I have been given two desks at the church- one in the school office, and one in the church office. It is so awesome to feel so welcomed and included right off the bat!

I officially teach English on Saturdays- today was my first day- and will be helping the teachers throughout the week. My role in the Compassion program is yet to be seen, but Compassion more of a casual form of TK, so I might be leading that more or less often, depending. Share N Care is a night with youth/young adults, to practice their English. It's probably my favourite event of the week, because I get a chance to speak English, and my Bahasa Indonesia also improves because the people there are eager to help. I will be facilitating those meetings too, which will be really cool!

So far, some of my more specific responsibilities include teaching the kids a Christmas song, fulfilling the requirements of being short enough for them to understand, and having actions, while also being Church-worthy (Sorry Ric, your suggestion of "Grandma got Run Over by A Reindeer" lacked all three criteria). I am also responsible to prepare two different lessons for each Saturday. I am in charge of the Share N Care topics every other week, and for preparing a written print-out for people there to read. I think that it'll only get more busy, and I am excited about all of these things!

I am realizing already just how challenging teaching is. Today, I led two classes in learning clothing items in English (in keeping with the theme that they have been learning all week). Having no formal training in Early Childhood Education, and having never tried to teach in a foreign language, I had no idea what level of difficulty to make the activity. There were so many things that I didn't take into account- for example, "shirt", "skirt", and "shorts" all sound the same. And teaching "shorts" without also teaching "pants" leads to some confusion as to what "shorts" actually are. It will be trial and error for awhile, if not all year! That said, the kids are ADORABLE. TK B in particular LOVES being read to, and, being the daughter of a librarian (and having been read to every day as a child, which cultivated a deep love for books), I am SO pro-reading, and SO excited that every day this week, they asked to be read to. If anyone feels like sending me some educational, interesting, brightly-coloured, REPETITIVE books (Eric Carle's "The Very Hungry Caterpillar"-type book. I read that today, and it's a good type of book), I would be grateful for them!


That's about it on my end! I am seeking your prayers right now for the things that I mentioned I am struggling with. I go back and forth in my belief in being able to stick this year out (though deep down, I know that I can do it!), and I am also praying that another upswing will start sooner rather than later, and that I can view this year with renewed excitement and enthusiasm.

Thanks for reading! Have a great day!
Love,
Ellery