Here in Semarang

Hi Everyone!

Turns out I do have internet, and am thus able to blog a bit!

Well, for once in my life, I am at a complete loss for words to describe this phase of my experience in Java. I debated not blogging at all this week, but then I thought that if I blog now, my emotions and impressions are completely fresh, and not watered down or forgotten as often happens when time goes by (and also because blogging is my number one way to relax right now).

I arrived in Semarang two days ago, around dinner time, after spending the day driving with the group from Salatiga. We stopped in a town (I forget the name) to meet some people from the church, before making our way to the town of Kudus (about an hour outside of Semarang) to drop Jason off. Jason is staying with Irene, an IVEPer who just returned home from the States a few weeks ago. Irene knows Karen and Major, and when she found out that we were heading her way, she insisted that we all stay for lunch. Her mother owns a bakery, and I think possibly a catering company as well. Needless to say, the spread was incredible- I counted seventeen different dishes on the table! We were very warmly welcomed in Kudus, and we left a very excited Irene and Jason behind.

 The next stop was in Semarang, to drop me off. I didn't know exactly what to expect, and I am very much still in the midst of processing my surroundings. As Jason said to me last night, "This is the real Indonesia!" We are now living with native Indonesian families, completely detached (except for the miracle of technology) from the people, places, sights, sounds, foods, and life that we are accustomed to. It's a real shocker, to say the least!

Being a talker, I find the language gap especially frustrating. Being a fairly proactive, "need to know what's going on" kind of person, I also find it to be a huge challenge to not understand what I will be doing or where I will be going. I'm used to being independent, yet I am utterly dependent on a host family that as of right now, I barely know.

The circumstances that I find myself living in have left me completely at a loss as to what God is doing in my life, or through my presence in this community, right now. I am uncertain about everything- the position at the church, the radio show host (which is back on the table!), the time at the orphanage. Despite my desperate attempt to come with lowered expectations, and with few preconceived notions, I realize now that my expectations were actually quite high, and that I did indeed paint a very detailed picture in my mind of what my life here would look like.

The reality of the length of time I will be here kicked in the moment Karen and Pak Lilik drove away two days ago, bringing with them the entire group of people with whom I have spent the last two weeks. My confidence wavered and then crashed and burned, and I have found that my emotional state has indeed taken the dip that Eva and the MCC crew told us about.

Between the pity parties I've been throwing for myself (mature, I know), I've had a lot of opportunities to think about how blessed I am. I may be in a situation that I am not loving, but I am here by choice. If I wanted to, I could book a plane ticket home tomorrow, and kiss this experience good-bye. So many people have no such choice. They are born into circumstances that wouldn't even allow for an opportunity like SALT. What I realized is truly ridiculous is that it almost never happens that I find myself in a situation I don't love. That's not to say I'm positive all the time (in fact, some may argue that I'm rarely very positive!), but rather to say that I come from a country, a community, a family, that leaves little room for unpleasant or really stressful circumstances. I have family and friends and a boyfriend who all love me so much, which is the only reason any feelings of homesickness are washing over me in the first place. How sad it must be to leave home and never miss it!

Well, I could write more about the facts and logistics of my life here right now, but I'll save that for when I know a bit better myself, and also to save this post from becoming any closer to an essay!

Sorry for the lack of pictures! I'm not on my own computer right now, and I hesitate to load anything onto a computer that is not mine.

Seeking your prayers and continued support, and sending lots of love and prayers your way too!
Love,
Ellery